Relay Room

Dear Monkey, please know that with all the funny mischief you tend to fall into, your cousins are awaiting your presence this Chinese New Year with as much anticipation as apprehension. While conversations with you are more likely to be bananas and never banal, the sharp wit of your chatter sometimes does have a bit more bite than people can handle. Fortunately, you are clever enough to talk your way out of any hurt feelings that this has a tendency to cause.

Not clever enough to get back into your late Ah Meng’s good books though. So, to ensure that the future does not repeat itself with yet another awkward exclusion from a relative’s will, be well-behaved this year! Good rewards do await those who are mild-mannered. This means no monkey faces behind the backs of your uncles, and absolutely, most definitely no baiting of Cousin Kong and his temper.

(But if you really must scratch the itch to create some mischief, do it quietly—we won’t tell.)